"Soccer On Ice" is back

Tonight, the National Hockey League (that's the league that plays its games on frozen water, in case you've forgotten) makes its triumphant comeback, broadcasting its first meaningful game since June of 2004. So, all you hockey fans, get ready to sit down, relax, and enjoy the Rangers and Flyers play for keeps on... OLN.

"What the bleep is an OLN?" you might be asking yourself right now. "Didn't the games used to be on ESPN?" Yes, they did. But the good folks in Bristol, Connecticut didn't think that a sport that missed a year because of labor issues -- and got lower ratings than the X Games when they were playing -- was worth the rights money the NHL was requesting.

So, completely dejected, the league turned to the Outdoor Life Network to play their national slate of games. Outdoor Life, realizing that their biggest draw was no longer shows about bow hunting, decided to shorten their name to OLN.

If your cable system doesn't get OLN, don't feel bad. Most systems don't get it. OLN has 64 million viewers, compared to ESPN's 90 million (ESPN2, where a lot of games used to be broadcast, has 89 million viewers). Many of those viewers are on satellite, though; since Comcast owns the network, competitors like Cablevision and Time Warner haven't been falling all over themselves to add the channel, even with the NHL as a drawing card.

"That's OK," you say, "I'll just watch the game on my local sports channel." Ooooh, sorry to break it to you, bud, but the games on OLN will be cable exclusives. Too bad, pal. Looks like it's radio for you. Welcome to the 1960's!